i'll stand up with you forever.

maybe. just maybe, the other side of the world would be good for me.

I would stay here forever with you, we could drink all the coffee in the world, and I would be perfectly happy. And yet you are very the reason I need to leave.

hey guys. so i've kinda relocated...

i made a new blog, it's more where i'm at in my life right now. a bit different to this one, but let's roll with it. please, take a read

here (:

somehow the things that were so beautiful with you are ugly without you.

Words are spoken truth revealed, hail the Son of God. History's pages never lie.. He'll calm the storm tonight.

The last two weeks have been trying, painful and long. My heart feels the ache of lost friendships, wasted time and bad choices. I've been up all hours of the night and trying to keep myself busy during the day, spent many, many hours in prayer and contemplation. Meditating on the word and offering up my voice in worship to the King of Kings, even when my heart breaks in the music. And amongst it all I've continually heard the still small whisper of His promise. That He has delivered my eyes from tears, He has been abundantly good to me, He embraces me with kindness, He takes me to dine at His table and His banner over me is love. He has set my heart free. This is why I keep getting up in the morning. This is why I keep going back to Him. Because I believe He is faithful, even in the wilderness. Even when people aren't. I turn my gaze to Him. I remind myself of why I live like I do. For the Glory of this man. My heart is once again a testimony to His incredible goodness. I will forever stand in awe.

Daughter of Eve,

if you could only believe

there's diamonds within your soul

you are beautiful, your heart is gold, your passion inspires and your voice is easy. i would sit and listen forever. the way you insist with your eyes on looking directly into the soul of the person who has your attention. your precious attention, that you so generously offer. your intensity in wonderful parallel to your smile. the way your words are always genuine, directly from a movement of your heart. you are radiant. His heart is stirred by you. never change that, noone else does it quite as perfectly as you do.

one day i will be this stylish

(lookbook)

maybe baby, I've got a crush on you

and maybe baby i'm mesmerized by your every move

and maybe baby stars could collide just for us two

maybe, maybe baby

Lydia Hollister-Jones..

i love you.

i will run into your arms.

teeth ache, head aches, shoulders ache, feet ache and heart aches.

i like coffee and Jesus, the killers, nice jeans and friendly smiles. i like the old man who checks his letterbox every saturday morning on my way to work and comments about the weather. i like when overseas friends come back. i like the secret awkward giggles when something funny happens in a serious situation. i like driving 45 minutes to a beach at 3am with someone i love. shooting stars. the feeling in my heart when a friend says 'i love you'. learning on my own time. change. being alone. but also being with people. i like days where 4 hours in the prayer room isn't enough. i like the future of 24/7 worship in my city. the high calibre of people i get to do life with everyday. i like unexpected relationships. i love weddings. boots. lyrics that move my heart. i love the indian accent. i love americans. talented friends and friends who were only for a season. and i like the inbetween, the anxiety overpowered by the faith that it's

all

under

control.

i like this life.

no..

i love this life.

i just think this is cute.

ok, let's just forget it then. just one last thing, you're worth more than you think you are. and even though you don't care, i'm still sorry. hope you're happy.

Graduation Ceremony!

Last night I graduated from the Tauranga House of Prayer Internship. There's so much I could say about this last 3 months, so much has happened, my life has been shaken, my beliefs, my heart, my faith. I've had the worst days, and the best days of my life. There's just something about sitting in front of the face of Jesus everyday that ruins you. This has been the best decision I've ever made and I praise God for every second of it.

i'm so into truth.

my heart beats faster with you around the bend

What a man. Dustin Kensrue.

i'll be waiting for you baby, i'll be holding back the darkest night.

"You called, you shouted, you shattered my deafness: you shone with dazzling light and dispelled my blindness; you were fragrant and I breathed in deeply and now I am breathless with longing for you. I tasted you and now I hunger and thirst for you, you touched me and now I burn with desire for the peace that is yours."

Augustine

i am blessed.

the thing about the community i'm a part of is that people are rarely constant. what i mean is there's a lot of coming and going, people's visas run out, their trips come to an end, family issues etc. after a while you get used to it, you get used to the farewell dinners, saying goodbye, the final hug for who knows how long, the "i'll come visit you when i come to (insert country name here)" or just "i'll see you in the glory". it just becomes a part of what we do. but every so often someone comes and goes and it's like you blink and they're here and they walk into your life at the time you needed an angel, a sister, a friend. and they totally change your life, even in 3 weeks. and you feel like you've known them your whole life and you'll always be sisters. and they leave but the goodbye is sweet in the knowing that God crossed your paths at that particular moment in time, that he took the two of you, ants, and let you grow together for 21 days. and the goodbye is sweet because you know and you know and you know that you'll meet again. before the glory. to my angel, kelly spencer. for arriving in my nightmare and waking me up to the reason i do what i do and the reality that the world is actually full of people who genuinely care and love. and i am forever thankful for everything you've given me. your joy overflows. you are always in my heart. see you soon.

My heart is stirred by a noble theme, bringing blessed words unto my king. Giving up my love as a sweet offering. Oh, the beauty of this Man!

For the sake of love, He left His Father's throne, searching for a bride bone of His bone, such a humble kiss to make our dust His own. Oh, the beauty of this man!

See His hands, His head, His feet and His side. They bear the marks of wrath, a pure sacrifice, to secure her love by giving up His life. Oh, the beauty of this Man!

She now faint with love, beacons Him to come establish righteousness as God's risen Son. And on that glorious day, she'll marry her fair one. Oh, the beauty of this Man!

Mind if I boast for a moment?

wow, my friends are so hip and good looking

just sayin'.

Oh Daddy, It's a Wonderland.

let's not make this hurt. i know i care too much. stupid girl.

i'm scared of feeling like this. it's all so new, bear with me.

"My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.."

-Song of Songs 5:10

Somehow my weakness has overwhelmed You

Somehow my weak love has stolen away Your heart.

(click image)

The Lord is moving on my heart. He's raising me up for missions, He's setting me apart to partner with Him to see revival in my generation. He's sending me to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania in September 2010 to walk with Him and learn what's on His heart for me, for my ministry and for my nation. I don't know how this is going to happen yet. All I know is that God is the provider of the universe, and that I am called to walk in radical devotion to Him, intimacy with His heart and obedience to His calling. He's calling me to pursue the "one thing" that burned on King David's heart, to "dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple" (Psalm 27:4). I won't be silent any longer, my God is the God who reigns over the earth, He imagined the stars and gives them light. My Lord is righteous and unchanging, His love for me is infinite and eternal. I lay myself down and I say to my Jesus, "I am yours, I live to make your name high".. He hears my cry and He answers me with his loving tenderness. He is mine.

hephzibah

-my delight is in her

"Light me on fire and let the world come watch me burn"

-John Wesley

look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

fire & fragrance

And I shake off these ashes like the dust beneath my feet, and I forsake this world like the world's forsaken me, and I embrace Your mercy 'cause Your mercy set me free

and I arise

I arise

I arise

I wanna be captivated by Your beauty,

Letting Your fiery eyes consume me,

Standing in the midst of all Your glory

This one thing I seek

you know, there actually is something better. you don't have to keep living like this.

"I am not going to apologize for speaking the Name of Jesus, I am not going to justify my faith to them, I am not going to hide the light that God has put inside me. If I have to sacrifice everything, I will."

-Rachel Scott

"You do not have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body." C.S Lewis

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives all fear is gone

Because I know He holds the future

My life is worth the living,

just because He lives

a lot of the time He's the only reason i still get out of bed in the mornings. He's the only reason i haven't quit every day for the past month, I get to spend 4 hours a day with Him and only Him, gazing at his beauty and listening to Him speak His affections over me, whisper in my ear that I am His beloved. and that is what my heart knows is worth waking up for. the one moment I see just a vapor of His face, and I am fully satisfied.

Try as I may to chase another lover I find there is no other. You're the glory and the lifter of my head,

I lift my eyes up.

i'm a little sweet on you.

this world is where I breathe, let it never be called home. oh Lord, save me from myself.