Friend, there is healing for all your pain. The end of this road is at hand, you will be made whole. I've never admired anyone the way I admire you. I love your story, I love your song, I love your existence. Everything about you is wonderful. I can't help it, I just love you.
This is the part where I freak out because I'm insecure and broken and so, so imperfect. I so badly wish I could wipe the past away, I'm sick of feeling ruled by my mistakes. I just want you to show me you care. But if you don't, I understand. And it is no fault of yours.
I'm still not very good at liking what I see in the mirror every morning.
I'm not very good at channeling my frustration into something worthwhile.
I'm horrible at keeping my mind in the present.
I love the wrong things far too much and don't give enough time to the things I should.
My heart still hurts, but not as much as it used to.
I always miss people.
I always wish my apologies meant something.
I still sometimes want to self-destruct and when it gets really bad I always know how to isolate myself for a while, but I wish I wasn't like that.
I wish I wasn't so anxious about everything.
I wish I didn't constantly daydream about the boy.
I wish I had the patience to wait for him and not get so ahead of myself.
Mostly I wish I had the ability to stop every once in a while and appreciate what I do have. I wish I could rest easy in the knowledge that it will all work out perfectly and these momentary challenges are merely to encourage me to grow stronger and to fall more in love with my Creator.