Tuesday, November 30, 2010

too drunk
and even worse,
much too lonely
You can have my time
You can have my words
You can have my thoughts
You can have my promise
You can have my affection
You can have my attention
You can have my secrets
You can have my body.
What you can't have is my heart.
Not because I wouldn't give it to you,
I would.
But what would a boy like you want
With something so broken?

Monday, November 29, 2010

I think I saw you in my sleep, darling,
I think I saw you in my dreams, you were
Stitching up the seams on every broken promise
That your body couldn't keep
I think I saw you in my sleep

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Steal my heart and break my pride
I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide
Align my heart, my body, my mind
To face what I've done
And do my time

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I gave you all.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

No amount of coffee
No amount of crying
No amount of whiskey
No amount of wine
No no no no no
Nothing else will do
I've gotta have you
you were real, you were something. you had arms to hold me and a mouth to kiss me. you weren't just something i made up. you were there. you danced with me, you held me, you protected me, you were there with me when the sun rose, you walked the streets with me at dawn, you kissed me goodbye when the taxi came. you were real, you were something. and now you're gone, like you always said you would be. gone. but i still remember when you were mine.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I like myself better when I'm with you.
You got time to burn in the heat of the moment.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

you could be the one to save me
or you could be the one to break me.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

was it worth it? did you find everything you were looking for in his arms? was it what you'd been expecting that moment to be ever since you were a little girl? did he hold you tight and beg you not to go in the morning? did he text you goodnight the next day when everything caught up to you and you found yourself on the bathroom floor weeping and more alone than ever? stupid girl. he will never love you the way you need to be loved. he probably won't even remember your name by next week. was it worth it?

Friday, November 19, 2010

I look for you in everyone I see now,
No one measures up, not even close.
I'm always looking for what I felt in your arms
The first time you held me,
For what I saw in your eyes
The first time you saw me,
For what I heard in your voice
The first time you told me,
For what I knew in my heart
The first time it hit me.
There's no other arms I want to run to.
No other pair of eyes I want to look into.
No other voice I need to hear.
No other heart I'd rather hold.
It was you from the beginning,
You came and you saved me,
You found me
When no one else was even looking.
It was you it was you it was you
It is you it is you it is you.
I can't fool myself into wanting another
when all I want is you.
I'll lie here broken on this floor
until I feel you again
and I won't get up for anyone else.
You are the one I want.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I used to know you so well.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I was better when you were here.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I do love You
I do love You
You are the life I needed all along

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Today I am learning that I can't stay one step ahead of the pain forever. Reality hurts.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Oh babe I know it's alive
and somewhere for us to find tonight
Chase this light with me
Oh the way You love me. The way You stretch forth Your hand of mercy when I fail You and I fail You again and still Your hand is outstretched.
The way You went willingly to the cross to be broken and beaten and killed by my sin and the way You'd do it again in a heartbeat
and I still live in sin and still You went and You bled and You died.
And the way You find me in my darkest hour and You shine Your light and I choose to love the darkness and still Your light shines.
And Oh the way You love me even when I hate You and still You love just the same.
I'm the desperate and You're the Saviour.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

If only you could see the stranger next to me.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

There is healing in Your name.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Stay with me
You're the one I need
You make the hardest things seem easy
I know these little moments move Your heart, and I know that right now that's all that matters. In this place where everything inside me wants to fall apart, You hold me together. When I'm too weak to walk this road, You are my strong arm. I will continue to reach for You. Yes, my heart will reach- even if only for a moment before I break- because I know it moves Your heart.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I am jealous for your affections.
It’s like, it doesn’t honor God to pretend like everything is OK. That’s the beauty of Jesus that so many people miss. The beauty is that he died on the cross for our sins, but also that he existed the way we exist. He understands what it’s like to lose a friend. He’s not unfamiliar with those emotions. He’s not unfamiliar with the difficulty of human life. To me that’s what makes Jesus as God beautiful. He totally understands. He went out of his way to prove to us that he understands our situation. So when he has something to say, it’s not coming from this high and lofty standpoint. It’s coming from this person who understands intricately the perils of human existence.
-John Mark Mcmillan

I don't want to become a stranger. I don't want to forget how Your voice sounds or the way You hold me till the storm passes. I don't want to run away from home anymore. I don't want to desire anything less than all of You. I don't want to live in loneliness and fear. I will run into Your arms again. Yes, I will run. Like a prodigal to my Father's warm embrace, I will run. And You carry me, You give Your child sweet rest, You restore my strength.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

"you thought you couldn't live without him. on that very first day the weeks and months stretched ahead of you in infinity. they wrapped around the world, then circled the moon and drifted onwards to the universe. you followed this empty time as it skipped lazily across the sky. it forced you to look up at the stars until you lost yourself in their beauty. suddenly much to your surprise, time stood still as the sun rose and your broken heart was filled with light"
(if anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know.)