I'm Lauren. I like black shoes, crime TV on DVD, meaningful lyrics and living in New Zealand. I'm obsessive about sitting on the end seat; at church, on the bus, long tables, waiting rooms.. I drink 3 cups of fair-trade filter coffee for breakfast every morning. I love answered prayer. I haven't read a novel all the way through since 5th form. I love making eye-contact with people, even for a second, and seeing deeper. But at the same time, that terrifies me. My dream car is a 2-door, 1984 white BMW coupe. I like arty people. I like that feeling of pride when New Zealand is mentioned in merican or english tv shows. I only watched one game of the football world cup. I'm addicted to extra lemon lime flavoured chewing gum. I'm really excited to start work again on Tuesday. I turn 18 in 2 months. I know what I want to do with my life, but I have no idea how to do it. I like people watching. I love the Psalms. I love beautiful words. But I'm kind of a sentiment-phobe. I believe in purity and joy. I love my generation, and my heart is broken for it. One day I will travel to London with my brother to see The Killers live again. I might spend this Christmas in Phoenix, Arizona with some of my best friends. I believe love is deeper and more real that we can ever understand. I want someone to share my life with. I write letters and never send them. I want to see huge awakening in my lifetime.
i know there's going to be a time, one day, when i can think back and it won't hurt. i know one day i'll be able to tell everyone about your saving grace. about how i got so close to falling off the edge but still you held me. when i walked alone all those days, sat up at night with the bottles and my mind. tick tick ticking over the fastest way. even the nights i tried. and every morning i woke up to new mercy. when you were the only one by my side and with every passing night another blow to your heart. your hand was always open. your grace was always ready. you carried me. you held my heart. in the thunderstorm that was my life you were my refuge. you never lied to me. you never ran away. you never hurt me. you never left me to myself. you were everywhere and still i never saw you. even when i turned my back you stayed. close by. you never let your beloved slip through your fingers. you always held me. you exchanged your beauty for my ashes. my darkness for your light. i'll forever love you.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson