There are so many things I need to say to so many people, but I'm afraid I never will. So I'm going to do my best to write them out on here and maybe it will somehow clear my head.
1. I loved you and I still love you. I thought maybe it was going to be us but now I realize it's not, and for the first time, I'm ok with that. Now you're one of my best friends, the one I go to with everything, you're the only one who knows how I'm feeling and doesn't judge anything I tell you. And you will never, ever understand how much I need you in my life.
2. I used to want you so badly. I thought I could be the one to change you. I spent so long wishing you'd show up at my door and tell me you want me again too. But now I'm finally over you. You with the gorgeous face and the ugly personality. I'm over you, and it feels so good.
3. I'm sorry about all the bullshit baby. You're my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. . When you weren't in my life, there was a part of me gone. I love you, so much. Chase this light with me.
4. I spend all day, every day, wanting you. Everything about you is perfect to me. I love it when I look up and I see you looking at me. I love getting to know you, I love the feelings that are growing between us. I hope, more than anything in the world right now, that one day you'll be mine.
5. Sorry. Please don't hate me.
6. I miss you, friend.
7. I'm sorry I'm distant, I'm figuring out who I am. It's painful and I'm making a lot of mistakes along the way, but whatever happens, I love you.
8. My biggest fear is disappointing you. But I feel like that's all I seem to do these days. I'm sorry that I'm not who I used to be, I'm sorry for wanting to grow up too fast. I'm sorry for hurting you all the time, whether you know it or not. I really do love you.
9. I need you, more than anybody says.