I haven't written in a while. It's not because there's nothing write, there is.
It's because I can't put words to what I need to say.
It's because I don't know how to word excitement or pain, or anger or change or tension.
I don't know how to tell you about the boy I can't stop thinking about or the girl he wants more than me, or for that matter the other boy who does want me and the way I can't seem to want him back enough.
I can't find the words to tell you why I'm running away from everything and moving to a different city, why I'm quitting my job tomorrow and hoping that by the end of the month, I'll be gone.
I want to tell you how much I love a certain few people and how I would really do anything in the world for them, and I mean anything.
How much I hate my job. How much I want a new tattoo. How excited I am to see Jimmy Eat World in April. How I wish I could help when people needed me but how I never do.
How everything's changing and I can't do anything about it.
How I need to learn to just take it as it comes and let myself feel every now and then.
To learn to let the right people in and let the wrong people go.
To let my heart be awoken again, freed, healed.