Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Pour out your heart like water...
This heart is heavy with pain,
wracked with guilt and weary from striving.
I'm longing for His love.
For the healing of His warm embrace.
I'm tired of sleepwalking through this season.
I need breakthough. I need encounter.
I need grace for the restart.
Another restart. Another restart.
Another welcome. Another welcome.
Another wave of mercy.
Another promise, truth to break the lies.
Everlasting grace for the restart.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
It's You it's You it's You.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I lay my head,
In pain and in joy, it's You.
In the times of trial and the times of peace, it's You.
In the darkness and in the light, it's You.
In every valley and every mountain top, it's You.
In battle and in splendor, it's You.
In weakness and strength, it's You.
In lack and in prosperity, it's You.
In every season of the soul, it's You.
From eternity past, to eternity future, it's You.
It will always be You.
My glory, the lifter of my head.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I'm so broken. I'm hardened, addicted and lost. I'm lonely and needy. I'm jealous and I'm angry. Calloused, offended, confused, obsessive, hurt and upset. I'm insecure. I'm jaded. I'm bitter, and I'm selfish.
I can't let people in, so I let them walk all over me. I'm never enough for the ones I so desperately want to be enough for. I'm retreated and I'm drawn-back. I get hurt too easily, and I never give myself the time to heal. I constantly feel guilty.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I lay my head, I'm never good enough for me. Never skinny enough. Never pretty enough. Never together enough for me. I spend hours in a day dream that I know will never come to pass. I hide my pain, and only ever let it show around the wrong people.
I'm desperate for love. Desperate for healing, for hope, for commitment and for restoration. I long for redemption.
For the soft whisper of I am enough. The touch of a Savior. The blood of a Son. The blood of a man who came to die for my shortcomings. The man who stretched His arms wide on the Hill of calvary and proclaimed to the world that I am His beloved, welcomed me into His embrace. The man who died for my broken heart. For my redemption and my freedom. Spilled His blood, for me. Just, me.
I am carried into His presence,
I am crippled at His table.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Things I like a lot right now:
The OC boxsets
Watermelon chewing gum
Tattoos & Gauges
Boys with the above
Summer making it's way in
Working in the middle of Red Square
The timing of Jesus
The color Khaki
Brandon Flowers- Flamingo
Fridays & Sundays off work
My life is a constant struggle, a battle of my will.
Every decision, every action, every word
is a product of the motivation of my heart.
The motivation of a fragile, broken heart.
I want a pure heart.
I have the number for a counselor
who specializes in dealing with self-destruction.
Most of me wants to call her,
sort these issues out for good..
But there is still a part of me
that likes the comfort of a broken heart.
Something inside of me still hates me,
and I hate to admit it, but when it matters,
that part is almost always stronger.
I am more than a conqueror.
I am not defined by an eating disorder.
I am not defined by a weak heart.
I am not defined by my job.
I am not defined by the mistakes I have made.
I am not defined by my friends, my family or my enemies.
I am defined by Jesus Christ crucified.
I am a pure and spotless offering before my God.
Last week I got my new identity in Christ
tattooed on my shoulder.
I am no longer forsaken,
I am no longer desolate,
I am called Hephzibah,
I am the delight of the King of Heaven.