so i was thinking now would be a good time to introduce myself to all you good looking people who follow i was a kaleidoscope. thanks for that, by the way.

first off, the title of the blog really has no particular significance. about a year ago i wanted to make a blog, and i was listening to deathcab for cutie. that's pretty much it.

sup homies?

my name's lauren joy ness. i'm 17. i live in tauranga new zealand. it's easily the coolest place in the world... however, i've never been anywhere but nz, so i wouldn't know. haha.

i live with my parentals, my big brobar daniel and my little sissar becky. they rule, i love my family more than anything on earth. (except maybe cucumber and licourice.)

i go to a rad church called changepoint, and i'm interning there next year.

i dropped out of school after 6th form. my best friend is sammy griggs. i drink buttloads of coffee.

my ears are stretched to 16mm, i have a nose ring, and my tragus pierced. i play guitar, and sing. sometimes. i'm disgustingly sarcastic 87% of the time. i talk a lot.

i work at a cafe and i love it. i don't drink alcohol. i hate sushi. i spend most of my life on facebook, or blogspot. and the other part of my life at church or at burgerfuel with people from church.

i really enjoy my life, i have extremely good looking friends.

i have a bone diesase called osteogenisis imperfecta tybe B. basically means i have weak bones. i've broken 27 bones in my life.

the whites of my eyes are blue.

i dropped maths after 5th form.

i don't sleep very well a lot of the time. i love candy canes. i'm really impatient. i love reading blogs. i have size 9 feet.

i have the attention span of a 10 year old boy. i love roadtrips and all nighters. i listen to a weird variety of music.

the killers, bright eyes, kanye west, city & colour and gym class heroes are my faves of all time ever.

i saw the killers live with my brother on the 8th of april this year, it made my life.

i like boys with nice fashion sense and a bit of facial hair. in saying this, my love life is tragically non-existant. i don't really like texting, or talking on the phone. facebook or in person conversations please.

i believe in hope and love over anything and everything.

burn, by usher is my favourite song in the world ever. most people think this is a joke. this is not a joke. i love that song.

i kinda love blogging. and i kinda love that people like reading my blogs. all the photos are from tumblr and most of the words are song lyrics, boring i know.. but you guys still follow me. hahaha.

peace out playas!

and if you ever wanna know anything else, add me on the book of face, or ask me on here (:

stay beautiful!

i'd quite like to build a sheet fort.

what's on my mind?

you.

he loves us, oh how he loves

He is jealous for me

Love's like a hurricane,

I am a tree

Bending beneath the weight of

His wind and mercy

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us so

Oh, how He loves us

How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us

Oh, how He loves us

Oh, how He loves us

Oh, how He loves.

We are His portion and

He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption

by the grace in His eyes

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns

violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

they'll name a city after us.

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

-C.S Lewis

come up to meet you, tell you i'm sorry

you don't know how lovely you are

i had to find you, tell you i need you

tell you i'll set you apart

tell me your secrets, ask me your questions

oh let's go back to the start

for my shame you give me romance

for my dirge you give me a wedding dance

for my pain you give me pleasure

for my filth you give me treasure

for my rags you give me riches

for my scars you give me kisses

for me you give me you

for me you give me you

we should move to sausalito

living's easy on a houseboat

let the ocean rock us back and forth to sleep

in the morning when the sun rise

look in the water, see the blue sky

as if heaven has been laid there at our feet

i'll set you as a seal upon my heart

as a seal upon my arm

for there is love that is as strong as death

jealousy demanding as the grave

and many waters cannot quench this love

i don't wanna fall to pieces,

i just wanna sit and stare at you.

there isn't any room left in my heart for hate.

i need you to know this.

i'm found in your arms of love,

i'll run to your arms of love.

listen to the sound of the world and watch it turn.

oh hai there.

you are beautiful.

hey you, yeah

you with the nice face

and the smile

i can't get you outta my mind

every thought a thought of you.

i drink coffee like water and i still never know what to say.

i still don't know how to get out of bed half the time.

it's not pretty or endearing.

i whisper you secrets, i am still looking to be saved,

sometimes i am so weak,

sometimes i am so strong,

here you go, i'll give you everything for one more chance.

my heart is ugly,

but it could be all yours.

some kind of slick chrome american prince.

maybe,

if i wasn't so shy

i'd tell you

that i like the way you smile.

and that every time you're around

i get nervous

and i act all silly

and talk silly

and you think i'm silly.

but i'm ok with that.

i just wish i could tell you

that you have

a nice smile.

i'm just so exhausted right now, which is making me emotional for no reason. the last few days have been pure goodness. i can't believe i've finished school, it's the craziest feeling. it's like all the routine and structure i've relied on for 12 years is gone. it's kinda liberating. 5 exams in the next 2 weeks. then bring on summer road trips. i have the coolest and best looking friends around. i wish ryan atwood was a real person, the world would be a much better place. seriously.

i love you

you know that, don't you?

i just can't help but smile now.

getting older is no excuse for growing up.

today i finished school forever. never going back. craziest feeling. best day in a long time.

i'msohappy!

i miss the old you.

you're all kinds of lovely.

there's a movement in our stillness

and however much we move

we're bound to stand completely still

“Why wait any longer for the world to begin? You can have your cake and eat it, too. Why wait any longer for the one you love when he’s standing right in front of you?”

-Bob Dylan

i live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me. i see what i want, i want what i see. and that is all okay by me.

i need you so much closer

i need you so much closer

i need you so much closer

mewithoutYou

like, wow.

we all well know, we're gonna reap what we sow.

i wish i didn't, but i still do.

cole mohr, yes please.

& i'm pretty much a big deal.

i've got your back

if you've got my hand,

this isn't over

it just began.

this.

haha, story of my life these days.

it's like a cigarette in the mouth, or a handshake in the doorway, i look at you and smile because i'm fine.

sorry about the bony elbows,

sorry we lived here,

sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell

and how i ruined everything by saying it out loud.

especially that,

but i should have known. you see,

i take the parts that i remember and stitch

them back together to make a creature that

will do what i say or love me back.

words- Richard Siken

you gotta spend some time, love

you gotta spend some time with me.

you gotta spend some time, love

i will possess your heart.

i'm so happy lately,

i just wanna smile and dance everywhere.

i haven't felt this good in the longest time,

it feels like i've been set free.