so much goodness.

i have so much in my life to be thankful for. so much that even on particularly bad days i still have reason to smile. i have beautiful friends and the world's greatest family. i love my brother and sister, we get along so well now. we hang out and share secrets. becky made my lunch today and put a little note in it, which made me so happy.

other things that make me happy; 

in one week i get to see my favourite band in the entire world, live. and i'm going with my brother.

the day after that, yasmin comes home.

that night is the start of easter camp.

then 2weeks of holidays.

i'm so excited.

starting fresh, starting new.

i just wanna be yours

Life has given me the, me the creeps
I need you to make, to make, to make me weak
I have made my world my own, I've made it my own
And I have never been so alone

I can't stop my brain from moving
in an awful direction Lord
I can't stop my hands from doing
what I don't want to do anymore
I've been wrong
I've been right
but tonight
I just wanna be yours

I'm planning this out
to be all about me
I, I am wrong can you help me?

I can't stop this brain from moving
in an awful direction Lord
I can't stop these hands from doing
what I don't want to do anymore
I've been wrong
I've been right
but tonight
I just wanna be yours

I've got to let go of all of this
'cause I'm dragging me down, down

I can't stop my brain from moving
in an awful direction Lord
I can't stop my hands from doing
what I don't want to do anymore
I've been wrong
I've been right
but tonight
I just wanna be yours
I just wanna be yours
I just wanna be yours

so distant.

i honestly believe that if i didn't have an imagination, my life would be horribly boring. i'm laughing alot recently, it is wonderful for my soul. i have lovely people around me. i'm very blessed. very, very blessed.

you know i love you

this is where we fall from the trees
this is where the sky covers up
daft killers of joy, you made a man out of me

and this is where the glass leaves the lens
splintering a chemistry of friends
i'll treasure you always

you know i love you

and this is where we wake in the ditch
this is where our bodies sing no more
fallen apples on the floor, pecked at by redwings

so pour another whisky out for me
it'll be the last bottle we share
as i drift into nowhere

know that i loved you

but love was not enough to hold my grip
can't you just feel my fingers slip
into those oceans in the sky where people swim
oceans in the sky calling me in
oceans in the sky i tell myself
though i'm not kidding anybody else
they know i'm leaving
they know that i'm leaving this behind

so i'm leaving my best friend
just for the hell of it
just for the sake of it
but how much i loved you

happy happy happy.

my best friend in the whole world goes to school with me now, and we're going to have the best year, lattes, vodafone, lady gaga, playing pretend, having my favourite english teacher again, falling asleep to sigur ros, personal jokes, when lydia sings, lydia, dance parties in my kitchen with sammy and kelsey, sammy and kelsey, auckland friends, the killers, the killers, the killers, the killers, getting along with my sister, sleepovers with my best friend, good books, bargains, cute texts, funny texts, working with bethany, hat-boy, solitaire, bebo, summer, exciting pictures on my schoolbooks, daydreaming, my mentor, pretty songs, 3 cups of tea a day, cute cafes, lunchdates with yasmin, john mayer, phases, elizabethtown, walking to primal with my best friend, having the bestfriend in the whole world.
someone come and see the killers with me?

Heima.

today i watched "Heima" a film by Sigur Ros, it was beautiful.
made me want to travel to iceland, it looks like the most magical country.
somebody take me to iceland.

parachute!

parachute was fuuuun (:
i had the best time. family force 5 on friday night at the palladium and dancing so hard i was drenched, seeing my beautiful girl lydia on the debut, she was incredible, watch out for her next year. meeting the coolest new friends, hanging out with candice, meeting an amazing lady at morning meeting with jane, dance partying, triple shot coffee at midnight, "HER EYES ARE BLUE ON THE OUTSIDE!" + "I"M THE GRUDGE!", supporters cafe, powerade, massive handgames in the village at night, getting amazingly brown, afternoon showers, to write love on her arms stand, hamilton friends, getting to know kelsey, coco pops everywhere, worship with the ember days, 5 person spoon in a little tent that wasn't even ours, on sunday night with candice, sammy, daniel, myself and teagan, packing my tent up super quick and super well, getting home on monday and sleeping from 4PM-9AM.
but mostly, friends (:

goodbye :(

i hate that this is the time of year that everyone leaves.
this week i've said goodbye to Emma,

Jess,

and Holly.

but i do get Eden back, which is nice.

also, i've gotten addicted to solitaire again, and bought britney's new album. shame.
got my NCEA results, which were suprisingly good. achieved everything except physics and history perspectives.
yeeeeeeeeeeeee (:

have a nice weekend.

happy anniversary mum & dad.

today my parents have been married for 24 years.
i think that's very impressive nowadays.
i love them.

i'm going away with sammy and her whanau for a few days.
i'm very excited.

Heima.

today i watched "Heima" a film by Sigur Ros, it was beautiful.
made me want to travel to iceland, it looks like the most magical country.
somebody take me to iceland.

today is the last day of 2008.

and it has been a nice year.
my friends are amazing, my family is amazing, and my Jesus is amazing.
even in the worst times he's pulled me through.
i can't believe how blessed i've been.

i want a cool new years resolution.
but i can't think of one.

phoebe and lucy and monica are coming round tonight for bbq and ricky gervais live.
and we're going for a scooter ride.
getting faced on new years eve is silly.
evening scooter rides are where it's at.
(:

the sky is full of dreams...

but you don't know how to fly...
i don't have a simple answer,
but i know that i can answer
something better.

this feeling won't go.
wait for it.

i am almost positive that i will always love the killers.



i'm painting my room soon. i need a change. something fresh and nice.
probably just white. and then get some cool stuff for the walls. i wish i was artistic.

talked to mae on msn today.
i miss her billions.
love you babe.

this week i became obsessed with...

twilight.
i read the book in 4 days, and i don't often read.
and tomorrow i'm getting the next one off lucy.
i can't wait for the movie.

i love you.

i love your cuddles.
and i even secretly like going to watch childrens movies with you, even when you pour popcorn over me.
i like making fun of you. and discussing films and music. and i love our texts. and our msn conversations.
i love when we illegally drive to bayfair in your car. and when we find the secret door in the changing room at wildpair.
i love you friend.

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."-Aristotle
x

save lives, give blood.

today i tried to donate some of my precious blood because i had an hour to fill before i met up with Tassie. but the nurse lady wouldn't let me until she makes sure my bone condition won't infect the blood or something.

so yeah. i didn't save 3 lives today as i had hoped to.

on the plus side, i fell in love. with the new sigur ros album. it is very pretty.

homes of hope.

today i talked to this guy who publishes a newsletter for Prolink business group thingy, and he asked me about the time my whanau spent at the homes of hope.
read:
Level of Abuse Opens Lauren's Eyes.
It’s a huge eye opener to a young girl of eleven, to see
how much abuse can be dished out to children of any
age. When the parents of young Lauren Ness decided
that they would offer their family as a support mechanism
to abused kids, they got more than they bargained
for. Having 2 sets of brothers living with them
who had a history of mental and emotional abuse was
possibly the hardest thing they ever did. But such was
their compassion for others and their belief in what
love and support can do for children, that they carried
it through and the results were amazing. Lauren, now
16, reflects on 6 months that have simply shaped her
as a young adult, and her motivation to keep helping
the work of Homes Of Hope has increased because
she has seen first hand the kind of results that are
possible. The children that arrived suffering from lack
of trust to anger issues, brought on by a lifetime of
abuse, went back to their own parents completely
changed such was the love and the effort that
went into taking care of them. Its proof that keeping
the children together and giving them all the same
opportunity to grow and be encouraged under the
same roof can have an incredible effect on all those
who are involved. Children and adults alike.
Lauren describes Homes of Hope as “an amazing
charity, I have seen it grow and I am completely encouraged
by what it is doing in the community… I will do
anything I can to help” True to her word Lauren has
been the driving force behind an initiative at Tauranga
Girls College which saw them raise over $850.00 for
the charity with other initiatives planned for 2009. If
there is anyone out there reading this who would like
to put their hands up and help, then please contact
Hilary Price on 07579-1090 or email
info@homesofhope.org.nz or go to
http://www.homesofhope.org.nz
and click on “Make a donation”

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww.
if you don't know what homes of hope is or does, ask me (:
please.

tidy room.

today i decided to tidy my room.
because it was messy.
so i started. made my bed.
had the killers playing nice and loud because music is essential.

didn't realise Grandad had rocked up to drop off a cauliflower and a cabbage.
he called the killers a "din".
i loled.

enter my brother.
enter "human" by the killers.
commence dance party involving some of our finest moves. you should've seen us. we're gonna be famous one day for our dancing skills.

daytime TV caught me.
Tyra, Dr Phil, Jeremy Kyle, Oprah, rerun of home and away, rerun of shortland street.
infomercials.
you know, the goods.

Tyra Banks was talking to these people about healthy lifestyle etc,
so i went for a run.

the Almost acoustic EP is nice.
48 days till parachute.



and my room is still a mess.

maybe maybe.

maybe maybe next year i will go on the youth group mission trip to the Phillipines.

next year...

a couple of months ago when time came to choose my year 12 subjects for 2009, i chose the dumbest subjects i possibly could so that i could get NCEA level 2 and ditch school forever.

and then last week i bought the november AP magazine. and i was reading the article about anberlin, who are one of my all time favourite bands. and there was something Stephen Christian said that stuck with me and for the next few days i thought about it. he said this;
"actually going through with college, and taking some of the coolest classes you could imagine, is something i wouldn't trade for anything. i think everyone should get an education...... i'd never tell anyone not to pursue their passion, but when education is avaliable to everyone, it'd be silly not to take advantge of that." (Stephen Christian, pge 130, issue 244, AP)

completely changed my view of education.
funny how someone you don't know, but have big respect for, can change the way you think.

and then i went to rotorua to lead at a church camp for 12 & 13 year olds, and we watched the "how great is our God" DVD by Louie Giglio, which i encourage everyone to watch, cause it's super powerful. i'd seen it before but this time i realised that contrary to popular opinion, science brings you closer to God. and that i should take biology next year instead of hospitality which i would get nothing out of.
that is a huge thing for me, cause i hate science class.
but i'm gonna take bio as long as i passed this years exam.
and i'm gonna learn about God's incredible creation.